If you’re asking this question, you’ve already been through enough to justify asking it. Years of broken promises, financial damage, fear, and exhaustion. And the love that refuses to stop, even when you wish it would. This guide won’t tell you what to decide — but it will give you an honest framework for making this decision with as much clarity as possible.

There Is No Universal Answer

Whether to leave an addicted partner is one of the most personal decisions a person can make. It depends on your specific situation, your values, your history, your children if you have them, and the particular nature of their addiction and its impact on your life.

Anyone who gives you a simple answer — “you should definitely leave” or “you should definitely stay” — doesn’t have enough information. This guide won’t do that. What it will do is help you think through the most important factors.

When Leaving Is Clearly the Right Decision

There are situations where leaving is not just understandable but necessary:

• If there is any physical violence or genuine threat of violence. Safety is non-negotiable. No relationship is worth your physical safety. National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.
• If children are being harmed or are at serious risk. Their welfare must be the primary consideration.
• If your own mental or physical health is critically deteriorating. You cannot sustain support for someone else if you are breaking down.
• If they have shown no willingness to seek help after years of opportunity. Hope must be grounded in some evidence. Indefinite waiting for change that never comes is not a sustainable life plan.

When Staying May Still Make Sense

• They are actively in recovery and demonstrably working at it
• This is a first crisis and you haven’t yet tried family support or the CRAFT approach
• There are clear, practical barriers to leaving that make it genuinely dangerous right now
• You want to stay — and you’re doing so with clear eyes, not from guilt or fear

Questions Worth Sitting With

• Am I staying out of love — or out of fear, obligation, or guilt?
• If they never recover, can I live with this life for another 10 years?
• What would I tell a close friend in my exact situation?
• Have I been trying to leave for years and keep not being able to? What’s actually stopping me?
• Do I have my own support in place — or am I making this decision in isolation?

Making the Decision With Support

This is not a decision to make alone, at your worst moment, without professional support. A therapist who specialises in addiction and relationships can help you see the situation more clearly and make a decision that you can stand behind. Online-Therapy.com offers individual and couples therapy from $40/week, starting within 24 hours.

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon also provide community with people who have navigated this exact question — often people who have stayed, and people who have left, and who can share both experiences honestly. See: Support Groups for Families →